When you feel like you have nothing to write, write about that. That’s something someone told me  a little while ago and I just can’t seem to get any inspiration from that. Usually ideas just hit me for what I’m going to write about next on my blog. I’ve been feeling like a bit of a fraud for a writer in the last while. I like to call myself a writer, but really, I havn’t published anything, I’m not trying to write a novel, I havn’t submitted anything to anybody to even try and be published in any way, shape, or form. I beat myself up about this writing thing, or lack-there-of,  better then anyone else ever could. When it comes down to go time I tend to freeze up. My head floods with thoughts of failure and I become insecure. I shoot down all the possibilities and have the bitter ending perfectly envisioned in my head before I even put pen to paper or finger to keyboard, or what have you. What literally runs through my head is, “No one will want to read this or they’re just going to think I’m a bit of a wanna-be writer”.  I’ve often thought that I should get over this and learn to spread the proverbial wings and fly but instead of flying I’d say it’s more like I’m down on the ground duct-taping my wings to my side so I don’t have to fly and so no one will try to push me over the edge because they will see that I simply cannot fly. Do you ever do that? Do you ever duct tape your wings? I know I’m talking about writing but this could apply to so many other situations in life. It could be a fear of public speaking, a new career, starting new friendships or a new relationship, or it could be a fear of standing up for what you believe in.

Just yesterday I was sitting in church in the afternoon service and the minister was talking about when Jesus went into the temple and in righteous anger drove the people out with a whip and turned over the tables of the people selling animals for sacrifice in the temple. (John 2).  I realized that I don’t even have the guts more then half of the time to defend my Lord and Saviour, especially at work, when people take his name in vain all around me, all day long.  If only I would have the courage to speak up.  I duct tape my wings and I shrink back in fear.  I tell myself I have no right to say anything because my walk is not perfect either. I don’t think I’m a good enough representative for the Lord. I stumble myself far too often to be able to tell others to watch their talk. I feel like I have no ground to stand on to be able to ask people, much less tell people to not speak that way because it offends me and much more offends my God.  I can’t write about this lightheartedly and tears of frustration are running down my face because of it. I realize that this second half of my writing today is a more serious tone then the first but I think a lot of us are running around with shiny, silver tape keeping our wings  safely stuck to our side.  I don’t think I’m the first one, and I don’t think I’m the only one, who is afraid to fly. I certainly don’t think I’m the only one who is hiding behind the excuse that I simply can’t.  The truth is we can. We all have wings to fly and God grants each and everyone of us the ability to do so and will enable us more and more if we pray for it as well. The other truth is that flying might hurt. We might not know quite how to turn to avoid flying into branches or we might fly into a few deceiving windows. It will be scary the first few times you leap off the side of a cliff to try out your wings. To us it might look like certain death (like losing your job, the respect of your co-workers  and friends, or failing to live up to the expectations you have of yourself, or the expectations God has of you) To fly is to have faith. To fly is to trust that God will not allow a crash landing if we are flying in line with His will.  Maybe this week take time to examine the areas of your life where you have duct taped your wings, and take time to think about it you have ever duct taped someone else’s wings for them.  For myself, I think I’m going to try and submit something soon and I’m going to pray for more courage not just for myself but for all of my brothers and sisters in Christ wherever they are. I will keep you posted. Thanks for reading. God bless.

 

I guess writing nothing worked today…..thanks for the advice- you know who you are!

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