I was rummaging through some old poetry that I had written today and I found this one. Its a poem from a time in my life that was very turbulent and I was feeling pretty down.  My poetry is usually just simple rhyming but its always helped me to be able to unload some of my feelings and get through some hard times.  This poem is about people who have come and gone from my life. When I read it, it evokes in me the same feelings I had when I wrote it for some reason. Anyways, here it is, a glimpse into my heart in a troubled time. 

When everything hurts and things feel wrong

When you feel like your life is only a sad song

When you find your face full of tears

And realize your diminishing fears

When death doesn’t seem so scary anymore

When you feel like people are trying to settle some score

When your heart is only a valley of scars

And you realize the frailty of these clay jars

When pieces of you are stolen and go somewhere new

And you realize that you aren’t allowed to go too

When one who once healed has broken instead

And you find yourself lying helpless in bed

Who do you turn to with your restless soul

When the radiance and colour of life look dull?

Who can mend a person like this?

When all things seem to be amiss?

Do you run or hide? Do you even try?

Can you ever get out of a self told lie?

Will I carry this pain until the day I die?

 

The poem ends without me turning to God and thats because turning to God when I felt so much pain inside was the hardest thing to do. I have to remind myself sometimes that other people have felt and do feel like this too and its not right to brush by them or ignore them because I am happy and I don’t want to be ‘bothered’ by their sadness. God has given all of us in all of our lives things that make us sad which means we should all be equipped with the ability to be sympathetic, empathetic and compassionate towards one another.  I think we would all like for everyone around us to look at us and think we are actually really tough and strong but I’m finding more and more that God has quite the opposite outlook then we do. God views weakness as strength and so I guess we should all strive to show a little less brave-face and a lot more weakness in ourselves.

This is from 2 Corinthians 12 when Paul is pleading with God. I suggest actually reading the whole passage but here’s the part of the story that really struck me,

“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Cor 12: 8-10

” May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God” Romans 15:5-7

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