The perfect man does not exist. Surprise.

Tonight I was reflecting on my dating history. Maybe that will make some people feel awkward to read that but its the truth and its the reason I began thinking about what makes up the perfect man.  In order to get to my conclusion, I began thinking about what the perfect man may or may not be. The perfect man is not bald. The perfect man does not have crooked teeth. The perfect man always smells good, he does not drive a crappy car,he dresses well and he is not overweight, he is muscular, he does not have a temper, he is not grumpy, he is strong, he is ridiculously charming and clever, he always knows what to say and when to say it, he knows how to cook, and he always knows exactly how to make you smile when your feeling down.The perfect man is that guy in the movies who is chasing down that girl in the airport before she boards her flight. The perfect man is that guy who makes grand, gallant gestures to win his lady over.  The perfect guy is perfect, obviously.

Striving for perfection....

The picture of a perfect man that I just painted doesn’t seem to be so far from what society says a perfect man is. We see society trying to deliver us the perfect man on billboards, in movies, and in magazines just as they try to deliver to the men, the perfect woman. Now that’s just it. Society is telling us what perfect is and we are using societies definition of perfect as a guideline for our own ideas of perfection. A lady who likes a man who sings would include that in her description of perfect. Now, not only are we using the worlds guidelines for perfection, perfection is subjective to our own perceptions. None of us can deny that we have and we do strive after perfection of this sort, some to different levels then others, but we all want to be better looking, have more money, and obtain the admiration of our peers, to name a few to start. (If you believe you already possess all of these then you have another problem on your hands).  That being said,  I believe that most of us have also at some point realized that striving after the standard of perfection instituted by the world and the society we live in is utterly exhausting and completely disappointing.  It’s shallow and selfish and it doesn’t deliver. Our idea of perfection is extremely skewed.


The world has proved long ago its inability to detect true perfection, not only that, but also its distaste for real perfection. They spat in the face of the one and only perfect man who walked this earth. They beat him, they mocked him, they crucified him. God defines perfect in a wildly different manner then we do. This is how the one and only perfect man who walked this earth is described, “He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.  Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.” (Isaiah 53: 2A- 3)

So perfect it seems, is not about looks and its not about being the most liked. Once we know that the next question is, how do we take this information and apply it practically in our lives? First off, when your looking for a man or when your looking at the one you already have, (or vice get the point) you are called to take a Christian perspective, not a worldly one. We are called on in Phillipians 2:5 to be Christ-like, “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:…” . Again in Matthew 5:48, “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” It’s not a request, its a command.  In my footnotes for that passage it says, “Christ sets up the high ideal of perfect love – not that we can fully attain it in this life. That, however, is God’s high standard for us.” Christ was a man who was humble, who was obedient, who was knowledgeable and wise, who loved God, a man who showed mercy, the list runs on and on. These are just a few of the things that make up perfect. We are told that we only have a small beginning of the obedience which God requires.  We cannot be perfect but we can strive to be more like Christ and that my friends is what I think we should look for in significant others and in people we want to be friends with. Look for someone who strives to be more like Christ and don’t just look for this quality in someone else, work on it in yourself.   Resist the world’s deceiving lies and determine to strive after the godly perfection that God commands us to strive after.

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world”. James 1:27

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:

I just like this picture 🙂


[adj., n. pur-fikt; v. per-fekt]  Show IPA


1.conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type: a perfect sphere; a perfect gentleman.
2.excellent or complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement: There is no perfect legal code. The proportions ofthis temple are almost perfect.
3.exactly fitting the need in a certain situation or for a certain purpose: a perfect actor to play Mr. Micawber; a perfect saw forcutting out keyholes.
4.entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings: a perfect apple; the perfect crime.
5.accurate, exact, or correct in every detail: a perfect copy.


I have to admit to anybody reading this that this was hard to write. I realize I may have missed things and I havn’t put disclaimers at every place I could have so forgive me if you feel compelled to argue me on some of the things I wrote. The point is to try and reveal a common flaw in some of our thinking and try to get our thinking on a better track. Feel free to comment or send an email!